I shot Marica Hase. Then she shot back.

Okay. Let’s give this whole Tumblr (pronounced Toom-Blar, I believe) thing a whirl.

Yesterday, I directed a scene for Brazzers, starring the very Japanese & very professional, Marica Hase (pronounced Mari-ka Haw-say, I believe).

Marika Hase #1

We had most of the usual crew:

  • Nate Liquor (Videographer #1 & Cinematographer)
  • Seth’s Beard (Production Manager)
  • Glenn Alfonso (Make-Up & Hair)
  • Chad Lee (Photos)
  • and then a new Production Assistant. Let’s call him GBD. A guy who never walked onto a porn set before, but is a friend, so I thought I’d give him a chance to try not to masturbate at my workplace while there are naked boobs right in front of him. It was a true test of self-control, manhood, and not masturbating in public.

Of course, we missed our old friend, Freddy Fingers, who is a crew member, but missed the shoot due to my giving him the wrong date, and him preferring to go on a trip to Argentina or San Diego or some place I didn’t understand because of his thick accent (folks, he’s been in the United States for 18 years. It’s about time he learns to pronounce words in American, so I can understand him when he asks me to pass him the guacamole). He usually does Sound Recording for me. Fortunately, between myself, GBD, and a C-stand (like a coatrack, for lighting accessories), we managed just fine to get some clean-ass sound. Literally. The air was filled with ass sounds.

Anyways, I digress (actually, I just like saying that). The crew was ready for anything, and so was I. Today we had another person who barely spoke english, only I had to direct her through a script.

Marica Hase #2

I found myself speaking louder and slower english than usual, and my limited Japanese (Puffy Ami Umi, Guitar Wolf, Sailor Moon, and the few words I learned from my older brother’s Styx Greatest Hits album). Ultimately we got through it, because hot girls in nurse outfits from any country all speak the same language; miming and hand-motions.

So, the scene was for Brazzers. Sometimes I write the scripts for my scenes. Sometimes their talented writers do. And sometimes, I’ll get a script and change it up a bit with some improv lines of dialogue (if the script doesn’t work out the way I’d like it to) . Yesterday’s scene would be the hybrid kind. 

By the photos, I’m sure that you already know that this scene was a hospital room scene.

Marica Hase

Original Script: This script was about an American (male talent Bill Bailey) visiting Japan and going to a hospital. Of course, like any good Japanese pop-culture fan knows, nothing in Japanese Hospitals make any sense. So, he is there to see a doctor who speaks english. But, he is only greeted by a non-english-speaking Japanese girl, Marica Hase, who is supposed to be wearing a Japanese schoolgirl outfit. Bill is confused. Then she giggles her way into changing into a sexy nurse outfit behind a curtain. Bill is still confused. Then she starts checking him for heart problems. And then they have sex.

A couple issues.

  • It was a small set, so there wash’t much room for her to change behind the curtain.
  • I couldn’t find a Japanese schoolgirl costume in her size, that looked Japanese.
  • I was told I could play with the script to make it work a bit better if i wanted to. And I love to play with scripts to make them a bit better (or weirder).

So, I had a couple new ideas I was playing with.

  • She is a Geisha Girl when he greets her.
  • Everything is a little more Manga. She would say to him in Japanese before sex that she was going to fuck the soul out of him because she needs his power to become a Superhero Sexy Nurse. Then she changes and the backgrounds move around like a Sailor Moon episode (or my Sailor Poon - The XXX Interactive Parody, distributed by LFP, and available now at a very good price at your favorite adult DVD store).

And then I thought, maybe I was taking it a bit too far. So, I came up with this hybrid of the first script and a few changes.

Hybrid Script: This script is about an American (male talent Bill Bailey) visiting Japan and going to a hospital. He is there to see a doctor who speaks english to get a check-up because his back hurts. He asks the Nurse, Marica, who he spots when she is fixing her porn set hospital health-computer-set-prop. She doesn’t understand much. But, when he says “check-up” she gives him a “Japanese check-up” and she removes her clothes. Then she tells him that “I now check-up yoor a-penus” (that was more or less the way she pronounced it). I can’t explain why the Japanese pronunciation of “penis” is sexy or funny, but it is. And I believe that it is the cum that holds the whole scene to together. 

Marica Hase #4

The dialogue came out very funny. We laughed each take we recorded it. 

Then we got to the sex. It was in the B-U-T-T. Well, the second part of it, anyhow.

The first part was in the front hole. I can honestly say, I have no idea how the sex in a scene is going to go until it happens. I don’t like to tell anyone what to do specifically, unless they are new, and don’t know that there are like 6 positions to choose from after a BJ & pussy-eating. 

By the way, I don’t like using that word. Pussy. First, I have a slight lisp, and so I spent most of my life avoiding words with a strong “S” sound so as not to get teased for it. Second, I just don’t like it. I feel like it’s a word people try hard to stick into their conversations to feel cooler; “That guy there. He’s a pussy!”. I feel like the word pussy has been over-used. So, in order to avoid trying to sound cool, I will usually leave that word blank in my conversations (people get what your saying when you say, “Why don’t you stick it right there in her…”) or use the technical term, “vagina”. It’s not very cool. In fact, I’d venture to say that it is so uncool, that I’m hip for using it. But mostly, it always drives the point home and I don’t feel like I have to start wearing $200 t-shirts with sequins on them. Fuck those shirts! And fuck pussy! The word, of course. Don’t rape.

Marica hase #5

So, we get through a good five minutes of Marica and Bill in Reverse Cowgirl (if I remember correctly), and then he pulls out and she moans and she squirts a stream of squirt right out of her… and just misses Nate and his camera, but gets a little on his leg. At this point Nate is shooting first camera on the floor. I’m behind him standing up, shooting second camera. So neither of us get wet at that point, which is something that does happen. Most people behind the camera in porn have some tale of bodily fluids other than their own landing on their favorite shoes or most comfortable Jorts. Crisis avoided. Then Bill goes back into her…and this lasts a whole 10 seconds before she squirts like she was playing a game of laser tag with Nate’s pants. He and the floor around him were soaked. And to his credit, not only did Nate not move, but he actually moved up to capture it at a better, more direct angle. Nate is a real pro (or he really likes bodily fluids, which is very possible).

Anyways, the rest of the scene was filled with sex and wetness and screaming in Japanese and moaning in broken english and really really good butt sex. It was an amazing scene. And that Marica Hase is an amazing performer. 

Anyways, it was a fun scene to shoot. And please check it out only at www.brazzers.com

And stay tuned for more of the weirdness I call life.

Lee Roy Myers

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