When I got to twitter I was very factual and to the point. I wanted it to be as emotionless as possible because at the time my concerns weren’t about how I felt, it was more about the truth. I tweeted out the three events that felt I mistreated in and explained above.
At this point I had learned that it was in fact my agents who had given me the kill fee and not the producer.
My DM’s instantly became flooded with girls who had experienced the same thing but were too afraid to speak up because they were from another country, or they were stuck in long contracts, or they were just plain scared of what Derek would do to their career. I was disgusted. I had heard things about my agency but never anything like this. I had always defended their character and was proud to be a LA Direct Model at one point. After learning everything I have I almost feel ashamed for ever helping them out. Quickly after I took to twitter I called out the social media manager of the LADM account because I knew she was an author for mike south a gossip blog. I said I wondered how long it would take for her to write an article about me…. and trust me it didn’t take long.
The day I cancelled in Florida was the day I found out I was pregnant. She tried to claim it was from me smoking weed. Which anyone who knows me knows I’ve been smoking weed since I was twelve. Ive always used it to help with my anxiety and depression because I don’t do well with prescription drugs (obviously). I spoke out against her in my defense. The things she was making up about me were outrageous and almost comical at one point. Since she is a PR account she has many accounts. Twitter has a policy where if an account is reported enough times at once it will automatically suspend it. Well Kelli did just that. She took away the one platform I was using to get my voice out. Now this all seemed pretty obvious to me seeing how she works for Derek. I understand that her loyalty is to him since he pays her bills, but to make yourself look this dumb? Not a good look for you or LADM. When I discovered that she had tried to take my voice away I quickly made a new twitter and decided to write this blog. I hope this get screenshotted enough, shared enough, and talked about enough, that everyone takes a look at themselves and asks how can I make this industry a better place.
Also, from someone who’s dealt/still dealing with mental illness I will admit that it is difficult to speak up when you are struggling. Everyday you’re having to constantly prove to yourself and everyone that you’re ok. Its hard to admit when you need help and even harder to admit when you feel weak. Everyone is taught to be strong and be a good worker because thats whats good for productivity and making money. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you never know what someone is going through, an just taking an extra second to be kind or compassionate instead of cold hearted could save someones life instead of pushing them over the edge.
p.s. I would like to thank my boyfriend specifically for being my rock and my savior during all of this. I don’t think I would be here if he wasn’t there to stop me that day.
Thank you for reading my story <3